


festive bullshit: a Trailerstuck Christmas Special?

by badAquatic



Series: Trailerstuck [77]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (sorta) - Freeform, (which is weirdly not a tag yet?), Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fan Offspring, Grubs, M/M, Original Troll Character(s) - Freeform, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:17:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3323852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badAquatic/pseuds/badAquatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat has only one thought that rolls around when winter comes to New Jack City: 'Fuck December'. Can someone change his attitude and inject him with some Winter Holiday cheer? </p><p>No, but here's what happened anyways. </p><p>Takes place after 'goodbye to bad news'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. wintry days ahead

**Author's Note:**

> So this is super late for a lot of reasons that aren't important but here it is! Let's break out that month old egg nog and that fruit cake that wasn't going to expire anytime soon anyways! This is the Trailerstuck (kind of) Christmas Special.

**== >Karkat: Tolerate winter in New Jack City**

 

Fuck December. _Seriously_. You cannot tolerate how cold it is. It’s not cold enough for ice or snow but it’s enough to be annoying. It’s bullshit that you have to wear two scarves and mittens because of the biting cold but can’t enjoy a white Winter Holiday. One of the (few) good things about December is that Jake is back and the rhythm of the trailer has returned to normal. Everyone missed him more than they’re willing to admit.

December also means you have to concentrate on the much-dreaded exams. You spend the first week studying like a mad man and attending study parties round the clock. The second week you’re picking out your spring semester schedule, getting into Home Economics like you promised Strider. You meet with advisors, talk about future goals, but still haven’t picked a topic for your senior paper.

The third week is exam week. It’s awful. So awful you don’t want to think or discuss it. On Thursday you’re burnt out enough to agree to Dave’s half-assed idea of having a ‘We survived our last winter exams!’ party at the trailer. Everyone chips in five bucks for a party sized pizza, drinks, and cake. People arrive at your trailer in the evening with their grubs because it may as well be a party and a play date. Tavros and Gamzee aren’t present because one’s heavily pregnant and the other can go fuck himself.

Equius brings a foldout grub pen with him and sets it up so Themma and Simham can sit without the threat of being stepped or sat on. They also have a ton of toys to preoccupy them. The unhatched eggs sit on a table next to the pen. Bec and Sonny Jr. sit near the grub pen, occasionally sniffing at them but doing much besides that.

You look at Simham, who’s cuddling a teddy bear and ignoring everything else. “He _really_ likes stuffed animals.”

“Yeah, he’s a little sweetheart.” Nepeta says, patting her son. Simham purrs but doesn’t move from the bear. “I tried to put him in his own bed but he always crawls into mine. I think he gets separation anxiety when he’s by himself.”

“Still can’t believe that’s _Gamzee’s_ kid.” Dave says, “I honestly expected your offspring to have a lion’s mane and giant fangs.” 

“I thought Themma would be a boy.” Aradia says, “Though I also thought she’d be a blueblood and have curlier h—Themma, _stop_ _that_!”

Themma is tugging on Simham’s teddy bear, growling loudly. Simham hisses and headbutts Themma. The two grubs then start fighting over toy ownership.

“Should we break them up?” Equius asks.

“No, they have to learn about territory,” Aradia says, “even though _that’s Simham’s teddy bear, Themma!_ ” Themma’s answer is an angry growl. Aradia sighs. “Oh, she’s going to be a _delight_ when she pupates.”

“KK, have you gotten off your wide ass yet and picked a topic for senior final?” Sollux asks. He’s playing _Jazz Jackrabbit Boom_ with Dave to see who can cause the most game-breaking glitches.  

“As a matter of fact I’ve been thinking about it, _Tholluckth_.” You walk from the grub pen and over to Captor. “I was in the library Wednesday when I found that our shithole school did have books in Alternian. Well, to be precise, it had _one_ book. A picture book of _The Mirthful Gold.”_

“What’s _The Mirthful Gold?_ ” Feferi asks.

You’re about to answer when you hear a soft cracking, like someone stepping on bubble wrap. “You hear that?”

“ _The Mirthful Gold_ is the first part of _The Ring of Life,”_ Equius says, walking over, “which is a series of four epic operas by the blueblood composer Troll Richard Wagner.”

“Oh gods. Is it an opera with a lot of horse schlong and musclebeasts?” Dave asks.

“Not that I recall…” Equius grumbles.

“And you still _like_ it?” Eridan says.

Equius folds his arms. “I would have you know that I have a _life_ outside of musclebeasts. I’m a prominent supporter of the traditional trollian arts. _All_ bluebloods are: from slam poetry, blood-oil painting, robotics, scream singing, archery, nude sweat sculpting, sex toy crafting--”

You hear the cracking again but slightly louder this time. “Seriously, do you guys not _hear_ that?”

“Hear what?” Sollux asks.

The cracking continues and Eridan looks over at the eggs. Suxxor’s egg is rocking and the surface is splintering.

“Oh my gods.” Eridan says, inhaling quickly. He tugs on Sollux’s shirt. “Sol, look! _Look_!”

“I can see, fish face.” Sollux says but he’s frozen to the couch. He doesn’t forget to pause the game so his annoying neon-colored character goes through another wall.  

A large crack splinters the egg in half and a yellow grubs forces its way out. It coughs, sneezes, and then squeaks after taking in a tiny lungful of air. Their eyes aren’t completely open so they’re looking around while squinting.  

“We have to be careful,” Eridan whispers, moving close to the grub, “Grubs imprint on the first thing their senses pick up.” He gently picks up the squeaking grub, wrapping him in the shirt that had surrounded his egg. Eridan smiles down at the grub. “Heh. He looks like you, Sol.”

Sollux gets up from the couch and walks over to get a look at the grub. He smirks and pokes them on the nose. “Hey there, junior.”

Suxxor’s first act upon hatching is to bite the finger attacking him.

“ _Ow_! You little shit!” Sollux yelps. Suxxor growls and holds onto his father’s finger, refusing to let go as he sinks his fangs in.

 

 

“Serves you right for making fun of your son the _minute_ he hatches.” Feferi huffs.

“Something tells me that’s going to be their entire relationship.” Kanaya sighs.

Suxxor continues hissing and chewing on Sollux’s finger. You get in closer so you can see Suxxor’s eyes open, but they’re not red and blue. One is milky white with a grey pupil and the other black with a darker grey pupil.

“Uh, not to raise any alarm,” you say, “but are the eyes… _supposed_ to be that color?”

Sollux looks at Suxxor’s eyes and frowns. “Huh. That’s a little…weird.”

Eridan looks at Suxxor’s eyes and starts panicking. “Is there something wrong? Is it a parasite? Is he blind? Should I call a doctor? Should we go to the hospital? Should we go to the emergency room?”

“Calm down, Eridan.” Sollux gently pulls his finger from Suxxor’s sharp little mouth and moves it in front of his face. Suxxor follows the finger, scowling at it. “He’s not blind. Maybe something else is going on.”

“That can’t be normal.” Eridan frets.

“It’s _never_ as bad as you think.” Nepeta says.

Eridan refuses to stay calm about Suxxor’s eyes though. You can’t blame him for panicking since he’s a new Mom. You’d be flipping out too if Suxxor was your son. Eridan and Sollux leave early to take Suxxor to the hospital and the party dwindles down after that. You don’t learn what happened with Suxxor until one in the morning when your iHusk vibrates you awake. You sit up in bed, nudging Strider to the side so you can message him back.

 

\--twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]!--

 

TA: kk, ii know you’re awake.

CG: BULLSHIT, I’M AWAKE. BUT SINCE IT’S YOU I’LL WAKE UP ENOUGH TO HEAR WHAT’S GOING ON WITH MY NEPHEW.

TA: yeah. 2o…

TA: 2uxxor doe2n’t have p2iioniic2.

CG: WHAT?

TA: the doctor diid 2ome xray2 and found that the part of 2uxxor'2 braiin that control2 p2iioniic2 ii2 underdeveloped. p2iioniic2 are 2tiill 2omethiing beiing 2tudiied but odd2 are that 2uxxor won’t develop p2iioniic2 anytiime 2oon.

CG: IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? I THOUGHT ALL YELLOWBLOODS WERE PSIONICS.

TA: no. beiing a powerful p2iioniic ii2 actually rare for yellowblood2. captor2 are mutant2 iin them2elve2 that ju2t have more powerful p2iioniic2 iin theiir bloodliine. mo2t other yellowblood2 burn out quiickly from drug2 or lack of 2trength.

CG: STILL...THAT MUST BE TOUGH...

TA: kk, iit’2 not a biig deal that my 2on ii2n't a p2iioniic. ii barely u2e my p2iioniic2 and even iif he wa2 powerful, he'd have two wear an iimplant and be treated liike a freak all hii2 liife.

CG: HOW’S ERIDAN TAKING IT?

TA: not well. he blame2 hiim2elf for 2uxxor beiing ‘defiiciient’. ii keep tryiing two tell hiim iit’2 not a biig deal but he feel2 liike iit’2 hii2 fault.

 

This is definitely going to be a long conversation. You leave the bedroom and sit on the futon in the living room so you can keep talking without waking up Jade or Dave.

 

CG: I’M IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU, REALLY. I’M WORRIED ABOUT ARTHAT. I’VE BEEN READING UP ABOUT CERULEANBLOOD BIOLOGY AND MENTALITY BUT THEIR EGG COLOR ISN’T EXACTLY CERULEAN. THEY’RE A MUTANT SHADE AND I CAN’T FIND ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT OTHER HEMOTYPES THAT INVOLVE BRIGHTLY COLORED BLOOD.

TA: ii never heard about other briightly colored blood2 be2iide2 your2.

CG: YEAH…THERE’S A REASON FOR THAT.

CG: MOST OF THE INFORMATION IS PIECEMEAL BUT THERE’S SOME REPORTS FROM THE FALSE EMPEROR’S TIME ABOUT A POPULATION BOOM OF BRIGHTLY COLORED BLOODS SINCE THE CULLING LAWS WERE RELAXED. IN THE END, A LOT OF THEM WERE DUE TO THEIR EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY.

CG: OF COURSE THE REPORTS ARE VERY OLD AND MAYBE NURTURE COULD FACTOR IN MORE. I’M TRYING TO READ MORE ABOUT IT BUT I’M NO TROLLIAN PSYCHOLOGY EXPERT.

TA: kk, ii’m 2ure your kiid2 wiill turn out alriight. even iif they’re complete diickwad2, you’ll alway2 be the parent they go two when they get iintwo 2hiit.

CG: I DOUBT THAT. ARTHAT IS GOING TO BE LIVING WITH VRISKA.

TA: can you 2ee vrii2ka piickiing up her kiid at three iin the morniing becau2e they went two a 2ketchy bar and 2tabbed 2omeone and now they’re hiidiing iin the parkiing lot from a bunch of meth-dealiing biiker2 whiile 2he’2 at a club griindiing on 2ome riich dude?

CG: SHE MIGHT! YOU SHOULDN'T DOUBT VRISKA'S MATERNAL INSTINCTS. SHE LOVES OUR KID.

TA: kk, 2he let a tiiny bug raii2e your kiid. that maternal iin2tiinct ii2 there but iit aiin't that 2trong. and you would automatiically go two the bar. you’d be pii22ed off and yelliing but you’d beat the 2hiit out of 2ome biiker2 for your kiid.

CG: OF COURSE I WOULD GO GET THEM. WHO WOULDN’T?

TA: our grandparent2.

CG: I THINK EVERYONE BUT DUALSCAR WOULD GO ON A BIKER-BEATING RESCUE.

TA: good poiint.

 

You talk with Sollux until four in the morning, just catching up. You wake up at seven to make breakfast for Dave and Jade (scrambled eggs with low fat cheese and oat bran) and watch the news.

“Karkat, when are you going back to work?” Dave asks, “Not to nag but rent is still a thing.”

“I have money saved up in the bank for rent, so no worries there,” You sigh, “but I should get another job. It’s not a good idea to be unemployed for too long. I don’t know who owns the Railway now or what they’re doing. There’s no point in wasting the bus fare or fuel money going all the way out there and there are no customers and no one can sign my check. I like the guys there but I need money.”

“Given what happened to your boss, maybe this is for the best?” Jade suggests.

“It’s too late in the season for him to get holiday hiring though.” Dave says. He looks at you, “Maybe you could grubsit? Get some money kicked at you from your Fishmom?”

“What am I? _Fourteen_?” you grunt.

“It would get you out of the house at least.” Dirk says from the kitchen.

“When did you get down here?” Dave asks.

“I’m making Jake a sandwich because he needs to have food with his meds.” Dirk answers, clattering in the kitchen.

You hate getting money from your Mom but Dave’s right. You’re getting a little stir crazy just sitting around the trailer. You message Cronus and luckily, he does need to go out. You leave at ten, borrowing Jade’s car so you can make your way downtown while avoiding most of the holiday traffic. Along the way you see more boarded up buildings with bright green graffiti spouting _Cherubs go home!_ and _No more crime in our city!_

The share-house is different too. Leprechauns aren’t hanging out in the halls as much. You don’t even hear the thumping beat of Troll Will Smith or Iguana Lady Gaga. Cronus is waiting for you in the first floor living room. Karcin is sitting on the floor chewing on Cronus’s sneaker. 

“Hey Mom.” you say, sitting next to him, “What’s going on around here? Seems like everyone’s hiding.”

“Yeah.” Cronus frowns, “Ever since the Cherubs attacked your neighborhood, the anti-Germanium attitude’s increased. Germanium businesses and clubs are being burned down and someone tried to smash up The Black Hole.” He shudders. “It was scary as hell.”

Your heart almost skips a beat. “You were _there_ when it happened?”

Cronus waves off your concern. “I was in the back. The bouncers took care of it but it was still scary. I’m just lucky I’m not a leprechaun. Itchy got beat up outside a Starboons and Clover almost got the shit kicked out of him after ‘jigging’ at the wrong guy. Luckily Crowbar was there to help.”

You have no idea how your Mom keeps the leprechaun’s straight. Unless they’re especially large or short, they all look the same to you.  

Cronus stands, gently prying Karcin off his jeans. “Now, I’m just popping out for a minute to pick up some things.” he says, “Karcin should be getting sleepy. He usually naps at twelve. If he’s a little fussy, he might be hungry so give him half a cheese stuck. There should be several in the fridge. I won’t be gone long.”

“It’s no big deal, Mom. I took care of animals before. This isn’t so different.” You say. You kneel down and look at the mutantblood grub, smiling. “Hey, Karcin. Remember me?”

Karcin hisses, raising his haunches in an attempt at a threat display.

“Karcin, you stop that.” Cronus scolds, but the growling continues. “He’s not very good with strangers but he’ll be fine eventually.” He walks to the door. “Call me if there’s a problem and if you can’t get a hold of me, talk to Ms. Slick. She’s just upstairs and is good with kids.”

“Alright.”

Cronus leaves, shutting the door behind him. You sit on the couch, looking at Karcin. Karcin is still growling at you.

“So, what do you want to do, kiddo?” you ask.

Karcin growls and rush toward your shoes, attacking them. His teeth are much larger than the other grubs and nearly bite through the material. You try to shake him loose but he has a death grip with his teeth. You shake him off and Karcin skitters across the floor, still snarling at him.

You walk over to him and reach over. “What’s your problem?”

Karcin snaps at your fingers and skitters off.

“Shit! Get back here!” you yell.

Karcin makes you run in circles. He’s much faster and smaller than you, plus he seems to know his way around. You race around the living room, the kitchen, the halls, and don’t catch up with him until he tries to climb the stairs. He can glide across the carpet and wood floors but without legs and knees, stairs are a huge obstacle.

You finally pick up the mutantblood grub who is hissing and trying to squirm out of your grip. “What’s your problem, huh?” you ask. Karcin keeps squirming and when he realizes there’s no escape, he starts crying. “Shit. Okay. Karcin. Shhh. Calm down. Take a deep…a deep breath or something? That’d be _great_ …”

The next ten minutes are spent trying to calm down Karcin. You’d put him back down but you’re afraid of him running off and getting hurt again, so you cradle Karcin in one arm while you use your free hand to google ‘Soothing crying grub’. You’re in a frazzled state when a small carapace holding a baby walks into the living room.

“What’s going on in here?” She looks at Karcin, looks at you, and sighs with a smile. “Let me guess: new sitter?”

“Um…” you manage.

Ms. Slick shakes her head. “Just try putting him down in his pen and cover it with your coat.”

“Alright…” You’ve tried everything else so why not try that? You put Karcin in the pen and he immediately burrows into his blanket. You drape your coat over the top and listen to Karcin. He’s sniffling and whimpering but sounds significantly calmer. “I’m going to be father of the year at this rate.”

“You just need practice, dear.” Ms. Slick says, “Karcin takes a long time to get used to people being around him without Cronus. He wasn’t very friendly to begin with even when Papa Lobster was alive.” She holds up the grey baby carapace. “Trust me. Taking care of any child is trial and error.”

“I didn’t even know you were _pregnant_ the last time I saw you.” You haven’t visited since September though and it was brief.

“Well carapaces don’t really show.” Ms. Slick says, sitting on the couch, “My genus is already very small. It’s rare to find a carapace that shows unless they’re a King or Queen. I’m a Prospit Pawn: very small, blunt teeth, inability to digest animal protein, and so on.”

“I didn’t know there was different genus of carapaces.” you say. You’re still sitting near the grub pen in case Karcin needs you but he’s gone quiet. You listen in and hear gentle snoring. He must have drifted off to sleep.  

“It’s similar to troll hemotypes in a way.” Ms. Slick says, “The caste used to be stricter. If you go to Derse or Prospit they still adhere to the old ways.” She frowns. “It’s frowned upon to have a child with a Dersian. My family may be backwards and stuck-up in their own way, but they’re still decent enough to not shun my child.”

You want to ask about said family when there’s a clatter on the stairs. “Honey! Where’s the map I had?”

“It’s on your chair.” Ms. Slick says.

“It’s not on the chair because I already looked there!” Mr. Slick walks into the living room and looks at his wife.

You’ve only seen him once in passing but you wonder what in the hell his story is with the eye patch and scar. Was he in a war? Was he in a street fight? Did he used to be a cop?

The black carapace looks at you. “Oh, you’re the fish’s kid.”

You nod. “Yeah, that hasn’t changed.”  

“You still live in the trailer park right?” Mr. Slick asks. When you nod he grins, “My man! You’re just the person I want to talk to.”

You blink. “Really?”

“Really.” Mr. Slick sits next to his wife on the couch, taking his son. “If you were gonna put a bar in the Ninth Ward, where would you put it?”

The closest thing you’d find to a bar in the Ninth Ward would be the dive bars hidden around Dockside and you’d be more likely to find a syringe in your drink than have a good time. “I’m not sure. What kind of entertainment are you offering?  Drinks? Dancing?”

“It’s going to be a sports bar. Nothing too sketchy. I’m a family man after all.” Slicks says, “The most we’re to do is play the game and have some billiards.”

Billiards? What the fuck is ‘billiards’? Is that cards? Is that like ‘snooker’?

“If you want to do family friendly, don’t build in Dockside. There’s a bad element there.” you say, “You’d get more people from the trailer park and Fairmont Shoppes if you build it on a bus line. You also don’t want to build too close to Aniline End because it’s shit. You also can’t build around Fairmont Shoppes because they _hate_ competition.” You rub your chin. “Your best bet is to build on the line of Indigo Industries and East End.”

“Where’s East End? That wasn’t on the map.” Slick says.

“It wouldn’t be. It’s not an official neighborhood.” You admit.

You borrow a pen and paper from the kitchen because you need a visual aid to explain the absurdity of the neighborhood layout in the Ninth Ward. “See, the trailer park is here and this area is all swamp so no one can build there. North of the trailer park is where all the people who’re too broke to stay there live. Broke-ass motels, abandoned warehouses for squatters, vacant lots, dumping grounds, and more swamp until you get to Dockside. Indigo Industries is to the west so your best bet is to build _here._ ” You mark the line of Indigo Industries. “It’s zoned for businesses and there should be a bus route that goes to the park and Fairmont. That way you’ll get business from the people that go there along with the people coming or going to Fairmont.”

Slick pauses and looks to his wife. “How far does the property go?”

“As far as Dockside but don’t quote me on that.” Mrs. Slick says after a pause.

“Property?” you ask, grinning.

“Not a big deal. Just something the little miss and me are planning.” Slick says, “You know anything about running a bar, kid?”

“Oh yeah. I worked at a bar for a while.” You say, “I can serve drinks and meals with my eyes closed.”

“You’ll mostly be serving bar food. Light snacks to go with the beer and margaritas.”

You shrug. “Bar food is just regular food with melted cheese on top of it.”

Slick shrugs, not giving you a yes or a no. “When the bar opens, we’ll try you out for a week. If you blow it on your first week, you’re out of there.”

“Sounds fair.” You say, “I know some other people that can help too. Bouncers, accountants, cooks, maybe a waiter or two…”

“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.” Slick says, “We still have to find a building.”

“I heard there were plenty of empty buildings along the levee wall that might work out.” You say, “Course, I’d get flood insurance if you pick a place there. Never know what’ll happen.”

“That’s pretty far for me.” Slick considers it and says, “What if you do the footwork for me? I’m a busy man with a kid and you know the Ninth Ward. You can move about, take pictures, send them to me, and look around inside if you can. I’ll pay you to do it.”

“Oh I can _definitely_ get inside.” You can always get urban spelunking lessons from Aradia.

You use the rest of your grubsitting time negotiating all the places you’ll explore and how many pictures you can take. You’re sure Dave has a spare camera around somewhere. Maybe you can get him to show you how to take quality photos. The money’s not great but you’re not even worried about that. Getting in on the ground floor for a new business is a far greater reward. Working at a place closer to home will save you money in bus fare and toward getting a car.

You check on Karcin multiple times but he’s fast asleep. Cronus returns a half-hour later with groceries and he’s thankful for the help. He asks you to watch Karcin on the weekend nights when he does long shifts at The Black Hole. You hesitate until Cronus tells you you’ll get fifty a night. That’s not half bad.

You drive back to the trailer park but stop off at Sollux’s. Sollux is chilling in the living room trying to play video games with Suxxor in his lap. Suxxor seems to be trying to make his father lose by attacking the controller, biting Sollux’s hand, headbutting his hand, yanking on Sollux’s sleeve, and being a pain in the ass. Suxxor is also rocking a little grey sweater and socks, which has you confused given his parent’s mutual awful choices in fashion to choose from.

“What’s the deal with the monochrome?” you ask, sitting next to Sollux on the couch. Suxxor growls and walks over to you. You let him sniff your fingers and after some investigation (poking you with his tiny arms), you decides to chew on your jacket.

“He _hates_ bright colors.” Sollux says, “He attacked Eridan’s scarf and skirts on sight. Chewed _huge_ holes in them.”

You gently pry Suxxor off your jacket before he makes a hole and plop him in your lap. “Maybe he’s colorblind?”

“If he’s colorblind, he shouldn’t be able to tell what color _is,_ KK. This is why you failed biology.”

“I didn’t fail biology! I actually did _good_ in that!” You say, flicking Sollux’s ear. Sollux snaps at your finger and goes back to _Battletoads 3D._ Now you know who Suxxor gets his biting urges from. “His eyes are weird so maybe bright colors stand _out_ to him so much that he thinks of it as antagonistic? Like a threat display.” Suxxor starts growling so you put him down on the ground. “Of course he’s little so there’s no telling what’s going through that bean-sized brain.”

Suxxor walks around the living room for a few minutes—surveying the area for danger, you think—and then dives on Sollux’s sock-covered foot. Sollux sighs but ignores his gnaw-happy son.

“Where’s Eridan at?” you ask.

“Visiting Mom in the hospital with Mit and Rezi so I’m watching the brat.” Sollux says, “We’ve been training him to a litter box which is a pain in the ass and then he was up all last night again bothering me so I have to tire him out during the day, or I’m going to wake up at three in the morning from loud squeaking on the grub monitor.” Sollux exhales, smiling slightly. “I’m just glad I can take a break from work since Mom’s disability check is coming in January. Things are finally going to be less tight around here.” 

“Surprised Feferi’s not here getting a mustard hotdog.” you say.

Sollux elbows you. “You’re a huge dork. Fef is out shopping for grub things with Kanaya. I think Fef’s just glad to be out again without worrying about an attack. She’s going to look into working.”

Sollux plays it off like it’s not a big deal but you know he misses Feferi and must be starved for company. You stay over longer than you originally planned, playing videogames, and eventually fall asleep on the couch. You wake up when Sollux has to pull Suxxor off your head because the grub is chewing your hair into a new style. You both decide to call it a night.


	2. life on break

Life on winter break is spent bouncing between homes as you grubsit, spelunking lessons from Aradia, photography lessons from Dave, exploring the Ninth Ward for a possible bar location, and meeting with Slick. Even with all these new occupations, you feel a lot more relaxed. You catch up on a lot of deserved rest and the bags under your eyes gradually fade.

On the fourth week of December, Jake goes in for surgery and comes home with a cybernetic eye. It looks identical to the other one but you can see the microscopic cybernetic nerves if you look close enough.

“What’s it like seeing through that?” Dave asks.

“I think things are slightly brighter.” Jake says, unsure.

Despite the cheer of the holidays, the news is concerned with the murder investigation. The police have started picking out witnesses from the park and everyone holds their breath when Kankri, Kurloz, and Gamzee are selected. It’s tense during those hours when they’re gone but they all return home two hours later. As soon as Kankri returns, you go over to Terezi’s. The older mutantblood is shivering but steady, drinking hot chocolate and having a sandwich.

“I was such a nervous wreck during the interview.” Kankri says, “I doubt Quan believed me when I told him I didn’t remember a thing about that night, but I think the test proved my innocence.”

“Test?” Terezi asks.

“They made the witnesses pick up the suspected murder weapon, a metal lance, and throw it at a target.” Kankri says, “It was incredibly heavy. I could barely lift it or throw it. Kurloz and Gamzee could lift it but they didn’t have great aim.”

“Do you think they’ll pin this one either of them?” you ask.

“I don’t know…” Kankri sighs, “The police have been watching Kurloz’s trailer and following him. They have evidence he didn’t leave his home during that time. I don’t think they’ve been watching Gamzee and he has a violent history, but no motivation to kill Trussians…” He trails off, glancing at you. “The police may question you next. You’re of considerable size, Karkat, and you worked with the victims.”

“I’m surprised they haven’t yet.” You say coolly even though it feels like your heart is in your throat.  

The day before Winter Holiday Eve, a cop comes to your trailer requesting that you go downtown for questioning. You go quietly but the ride to the station is stressful. You’ve never been in the police station before and it’s nightmarish coming in with the other suspects, who look even more frightened than you. You’re brought to a brightly lit interrogation room and sit in an uncomfortable chair. Ten minutes of stewing in your own anxieties later, Investigator Quan comes in.

“State your name for the record.” Quan starts off.

“Karkat Vantas.” you say hoarsely.

“You seem nervous, Mr. Vantas.” Quan says.

“It’s just Karkat and of course I’m nervous. I’m a troll that lives in the Ninth Ward.” You say, “The NJPD isn’t exactly our best friend.”

“I seek to change that.” Quan says, “Tell me about Sergei.”

You tell him about Sergei, omitting the organized crime elements and your participation in a premeditated murder. Sergei was just your boss at the Railway and nothing else. Then Quan asks you about Meliak and you insist that Meliak was your boss’s kismesis and you only knew him because he lived with your mother. After you’re done with your answers, Quan leaves for thirty minutes and comes back in.

That’s when things take a turn for the worse. Quan starts grilling you about all the little details of your story. He throws in random questions about your quadrants, your kids, where you live, the crime problem there, your attitude toward the NJPD, the Cherub attack, and so on.  

“What’s your opinion on Gamzee Makara?” Quan asks out of the blue.

“Gamzee? He’s a fucking psycho.” You say without thinking.    

“Really?” Quan leans forward, “You got evidence of him being ‘psycho’?”

Shit, you didn’t mean to say that. You hate Gamzee’s guts but shit is complicated and you don’t want to be the one who pointed the finger when you have no evidence of him killing Sergei or Meliak. “No. I just…had past interactions with him. It’s already on record that he’s SAT and crazy.”

“Says on the record that he’s your cousin.” Quan presses, “People might have psychos in their family but that doesn’t stop them from covering for them.”

“I would _never_ cover for that fuck!” you snarl before you can stop yourself.

“Is it because he attacked you when you were a kid?” Quan clicks his tongue, “That’s some _ugly_ shit in his record. No wonder he got put away. You think he could attack someone like that again?”

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t even remember what happened.” You say, “I don’t think Gamzee would kill Sergei or Meliak.”

“What makes you say that for the asshole that almost killed you?”

“ _Because_ …” You grind your teeth. “Because Gamzee is a dangerous fuck but he only attacks people that attack him or his quads. He loves his family too much to fuck that up with people he doesn’t know.”

“Not even for money?”

“I don’t know! _Fuck_!” You sit back in your chair. “I feel shitty enough talking about that asshole. Now you want me to know what goes on in his sopor addled head?”

Quan relents after that. You move from the interrogation room to a large empty room with the four other witnesses; none of whom you recognize. Sitting on a table is a _huge_ metal lance. At the far end of the room is a troll-shaped target the exact height and width of Sergei. Quan instructs you to pick up and throw the lance.

“And don’t worry,” says Quan, smiling at the witnesses and you, “if it looks like you’re slacking we’ll ask you to do it again and again until you get it _right_.”

The lance is heavy as _fuck_ but you can pick it up when you muster all your strength. You can’t throw it very far and it clatters three feet from the Sergei target. Just to be sure, Quan has you do it again but on the second time it doesn’t even get close to the target.

After that, you’re discharged from the station. Strider picks you up from the station and you’re both relieved as hell that you don’t qualify as the killer. You celebrate by getting pizza and spending the rest of the day relaxing. You’ve been hanging out with Dave a lot more as John and him are _still_ not talking.

“Do you think their friendship is over?” you ask Jade that evening. You’re both in the living room watching cartoons and Dave is in the bedroom working on his script.

“I don’t know…” Jade says, “Rose says that John doesn’t want to talk about it when she sees him. _The Tempest_ goes up in two days so he’s crazy busy.”

You can’t blame John. It’s easy to become a workaholic when it’s your future on the line.

Winter Holiday Eve is spent working on your research paper. Looking up trollian history and translations of old operas keeps your mind off of spending Winter Holiday without a flush. It’s hard to ignore in the trailer though because Jade and Dave are lovey-dovey and Dirk doesn’t even bother coming downstairs. Everyone is incredibly romantic to the point where it’s sickening. Even Sonny Jr. is snuggled against Bec and ignoring you (which is incredibly unfair since he’s _your_ pet). You’re sick of it by the afternoon so you get bored enough to message your favorite lisping asshole.  

 

\--carcinoGeneticist[CG] began trolling twinArmageddons[TA]!--

 

CG: ARE YOU DOING SOMETHING TWICE AS SAPPY FOR THIS SUCKY HOLIDAY, CAPTOR?

TA: nah. wiinter holiiday alway2 blow2 when you’re poor a2 2hiit. ii’m ju2t gamiing wiith tuna and watchiing the brat.

CG: NOT HANGING WITH THE FISHES?

TA: ff’2 doiing church 2tuff all day and ed’2 2pendiing the day wiith kn. then he2 doiing 2ome kiind of 2piiriitual fa2t 2tartiing tomorrow or 2omethiing. ii don’t know what he’2 up two. he’2 been weiird lately.

CG: WEIRD HOW?

TA: ii dunno. ju2t a lot more reclu2iive and mutteriing alone iin hii2 room. ii thiink he got liike a new book of 2pell2 or whatever.

CG: STILL A STONE COLD ATHEIST, SOLLY?

TA: oh ii beliieve iin 2hiit. ii beliieve ii want iit far from me and my kiid2 a2 much a2 po22iible.

 

That makes you laugh and pulls you out of your shitty mood. You keep talking to Sollux and wrap yourself in a blanket since it’s getting cold in the trailer. You both watch the end of _Troll Casablanca_ which is airing on FXM.  

 

TA: why do they 2how thii2 moviie at wiinter holiiday?

CG: IT’S ROMANTIC.

TA: you’d thiink trollzformer2 2 wa2 romantiic iif 2omeone made out iin iit.

CG: I’D THINK TROLLZFORMERS 2 WAS A MOVIE IF SOMEONE WITH SKILL WROTE IT.

TA: ehehehehe. tell that two miichael bay jr’2 bank account.

 

The movie goes off but you’re still talking. You’re nodding off every other minute but you want to keep talking. Sollux must be tired too because his quirk and spelling have gone to shit.

 

CG: HEY, DID YOU EVER TELL ANYONE WHAT WE DID AT THE MANOR?

TA: huh?

TA: oh, you mean when we fucked that one tiime.

CG: WHY DID WE EVEN DO THAT? IT SOUNDS SO INSANE NOW.

CG: “HEY I FOUND THIS ANCIENT BED THAT BELONGED TO MY PERV GRANDPA THAT IS PROBABLY COATED IN THE GENETIC FLUID OF WHO KNOWS WHAT AND IS CRAWLING WITH MITES. LET’S BANG.”

TA: maybe it wa2n’t the bed?

TA: mebbe II’m just super irrestible tto you. <3

CG: OH YEAH. YOU’RE TOTALLY IRRITATABLE YOU LISPING FUCK. <#

TA: kk, that3 not even the riight symbol you fuck nut.

CG: YOURE NOT THE RIGHT SYMBOL, YOU BEE.

TA: “bee” ish not an in2ult to a yellowblood.

CG: YOU’RE DEFENDING BEES. GO TO BED, DORKFANG.

TA: no YOU 2 bed!!

CG: BUT SERIOUSLY DID YOU EVER TELL ANYONE?

TA: no, iI didn’t crabcrabutt. hyw would I? Ii’m not asshole who brags about fucking different people and although my bulges are 2layers of many a troll iI dont plan on telling people that I really enjoyed fucking you out of every2.

CG: I HAVEN’T TOLD ANYONE EITHER.

CG: I DUNNO WHY CONSIDERING ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE I FUCKED BUT IT FEELS…I DUNNO…

CG: DIFFERENT SOMEONE? I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

TA: iI never thought iiit that way either

TA: it did feel diffffffffffffffffyuioeeeeeeeeeouhnebbb

 

You assume that’s Sollux falling asleep on his keyboard. You snicker and go to sleep. You don’t wake up until Dirk shakes you awake. You climb off the futon so the present can be piled on the thin mattress and the tower of gifts is almost as tall as Dave.

“Gods, look at all these _gifts_ …” you mutter.

“Let’s start with Jade’s.” Dirk says, holding the camera.

Jade is sitting in a chair as Dave hands her a box. “This better not _all_ be baby stuff.” she huffs.

“It’s not. I promise.” Dave says.

Jade does have an assortment of gifts, one of them from Tavros. Its a note saying _‘I have your Squiddles DVD and I’m holding it for ransom until I get my copy of Pupa Pan and the Gamblignants back’._ You also have gifts delivered to you from Kankri and Terezi. Kankri sent you children’s books in Modern and Old Alternian so you can keep practicing and Terezi gave a special edition of _The Thresh Prince of Bel Air_ complete with director commentary, bloopers, and behind the scenes info _._ Sollux sent you Dane Cook’s latest comedy special and Dave gave you a Chinacanese bootleg of _Serendipity,_ which is called _Circumstances Happen And Other Things_.

“I feel like I’m getting lead poisoning just holding this.” you say to Dave, “Where did you even get this?”

“I found it actually,” Dirk says, “There’s a huge bootleg market in Underdraft. I go there to buy swords and I found some DVDs.”

“‘Underdraft’?” you ask.

“I’ve never heard of that place.” Jade says.

“Underdraft is where all the Chinacanese and Bojangles immigrants typically go.” Jake says, “You can find anything there: drugs, questionable plants, exotic animals, live animals, illegal guns, great good…”

“So if you disappear one day, we’ll know what happened.” you snort, “Where’s the Underdraft even at?”

“West New Jack.” Dirk says, “You have to go further north, past the Squalor and Ridgeside but before the vactrain station.”

“Dirk brought me there on our first date.” Jake says.

“It wasn’t a date.” Dirk grumbles, “I needed to do something and I couldn’t go alone so Jake ‘tagged along’.”

“It was interesting. First time I’d ever seen a shadow troll.” Jake chuckles, “I thought they were all Chinese urban legend.”

“I’ve never heard of shadow trolls.” You say.

“Same.” Dave says.

“They live only in the Eastern Continent,” says Dirk, “Chinacan, Indie, Shongolia. Few come here but they stick with their own. Never really ‘conform’ to the Canzian way of life.”

“Why are they called shadow trolls?” Jade asks, “Are they a subspecies or a race?”

“I would think subspecies is closer but honestly, I’m not sure.” Dirk says, “It’s near impossible to find clear information about them. It’s hard to pull apart the mythology and the facts. That and I only don’t know Chinese.”

“You know like six languages but _not_ Chinese, which is one of the most well know languages on the _planet_?” Dave snorts, unwrapping his gift from you. 

Dirk frowns. “Chinese isn’t very common in Canzian. There was no reason to learn it.”

Dave rolls his eyes and finally unwraps his gift. You’re worried because it took you a while to find something that was both awful but showed how much you knew him. You fears are minimized when you see the horror on Dave’s face as he unwraps _Troll Kim Kardashian: Hollywood Special Bling Edition._

“ _This edition of the game comes with over eighty new types of bling. Compete online and show your friends. Date all the guys from the show: Troll Kanye, Dave the Furry, and Snooki from Subjug Shore. Install it into your Trollbook and have competitions._ ” Dave reads off the box. He looks at you, “Why do you even _have_ this, Karkat?”

“Sollux found it on Amazon for a buck and I decided to inflict it on you.” you say.

“It’s super weird how Troll Kim Kardashian was a giant purpleblood who could’ve eaten the human one.” Jake says, “They look nothing alike.”

“They have the same ass that sticks out a mile from their body,” Dave says, squinting at the box art, “like Karkat’s.”

“My glute does _not_ do that!” you huff.

“I beg to differ. I have photographic evidence.” Dave says.

“Before you bring out said photographic evidence, maybe you should open your gift from Jake and me?” Dirk suggests.

“Alright.” Dave says, locating the small box in the present pile. From the size you’re expecting a watch or a new phone. He opens it and inside are a set of car keys with an alarm. “Holy shit. Is…is this what…?” He presses the alarm and you hear a car beep outside. “ _Holy shit!_ ”

Dave, Jade, and you leave the trailer to find a car parked on the side of the street. Its not a new car but its red with black with orange decals on the side. Dave stares at the car, mouth open in total shock.

“This was _supposed_ to be your birthday present,” Dirk says, walking onto the porch with Jake, “but since all that other shit happened I figured that it’ll serve for your Winter Holiday president.”

“Oh my gods. Bro. Jake. I just…” Dave looks at his brother and co-Dad. “I don’t…I mean I was saving up for a car…”

“Well, now you can save up for some video equipment and a camera.” Jake says.

“I think you should take it for a test drive.” you say, nudging Strider.

“I want to ride in it too!” Jade says.

You let Jade and Dave have their driving fun as you have gift deliveries to make. You go across the street to give Terezi and Kankri their gifts. The matesprits are sitting on the couch watching TV and wearing thick sweaters with their eggs sitting nearby. Terezi’s glad for the red dragon earrings and Kankri for the book _Parenting Highbloods for Lowbloods._

Kankri is especially choked up about his gift. “After the way I’ve treated you…I-I didn’t think you would get me anything. Have we even celebrated Winter Holiday before?”

“No,” you say, “and don’t think I’ve forgotten all the bullshit you did. I’m still mad but…I’m willing to work toward…eventually forgiving you.”

Kankri smiles. “That’s all I want.”

You borrow Kankri’s car so you can visit Cronus. Cronus is sitting in the living room taking pictures of Karcin, who’s wearing a bright red sweater and looking incredibly pissed. You hand Cronus Karcin’s gift, which is in a wrapped box. You wanted to find a way to welcome him to the family.

“Look, Karcin! Big brother Karkat brought you a gift!” Cronus says, handing Karcin the box. Karcin sniffs it, growls, and starts tearing the wrapping paper. “Karcin, _no_! That’s not food!”

“Let me help him.” you laugh.

You help unravel and open the box, revealing a tough chew toy for Karcin. Karcin squeaks and pounces on it. You got Cronus a new leather jacket with a tiny matching one for Karcin. Karcin’s less angry about wearing the jacket than the sweater.

“Karkat, this is too much. How can you even afford this?” Cronus asks.

“I have a lot of boons stashed away.” You used all the money you earned from the manor for Winter Holiday gifts. You don’t want to spend it on yourself given how you earned it.

“I didn’t do gifts this year because I need to start saving.” Cronus sighs, “The Squalor schools are terrible. I’m thinking about moving back to the park…”

You frown. “But you hate the park.”

Cronus shakes his head. “I don’t hate it, Karkat. I just needed a change of scenery and I wanted to save money but I’m not living on my own anymore.”

“I don’t even know who’s going to be in charge of the _park_ come New Year. I doubt one of the DD’s nephews or nieces are going to be in charge after what happened to WMS.”

“Did you get anything for Arthat?”

“Of course. I got Arthat _Art History for Children._ It’s a DVD box set explaining the history of art with music. Boring as hell but Vriska wants only gifts that would quote ‘nurture a gifted mind’. I got Vriska a Bag of Holding for all her RPG stuff. I sent it by certified mail so if the wrong person signs for it, there’ll be an investigation. I didn’t want to go by her place and _interrupt_ whatever she’s doing.”

Cronus frowns. “You don’t have to give _her_ something, Karkat.”

“The mother of my kids gets gifts too. They’re just as important.” You insist.

Cronus obviously disagrees but he won’t argue. You know he blames most of the relationship’s failure on Vriska’s part, but you don’t. You leave the share house and return to the park, moving to the final destination. You drive to the Peixes trailer and knock at the door. Meenah answers and the blood drains from her face when she sees you.

You hold up her gift, which is wrapped in shiny gold foil. “Merry Winter Holiday, Meenah.”

Meenah uneasily takes the gift, as if she’s expecting it to explode, and lets you inside the trailer. Jane must be furiously cleaning because the usual clutter has disappeared and the knickknacks have been dusted and rearranged on the wall. Feferi and Jane must be at a church function because Meenah’s alone in the trailer.

Meenah sits on the couch. “Karkat…”

“I didn’t come here to fight you about the past.” you say, “I came here as your nephew. Open the gift. Please.”

Meenah slowly opens the box and pulls out a metal trident head. She touches it and grins, gills flexing. “It’s sharp.”

“I thought you’d like a sharper one.” You say.

“Thanks.” Meenah hoes to her bedroom and returns with a box, “I wrapped you this but given everything that happened, I wasn’t sure if you’d want it.”

You take the box, looking at her. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier what happened with Gamzee and me?”

Meenah looks down, “I didn’t want you to hate me. I wanted us to stay friends and…gods, I didn’t even find out what Gamzee did to Kankri until later. That’s how far out of the loop I am regarding my son.”

“And you still think he didn’t attack me? You’d still _defend_ him?”

“I don’t defend _all_ the things he’s done, Karkat,” Meenah says, “I just have doubts about what happened that night. That’s all.” She looks down. “What would you do if your son was fucked up because of you?”

You don’t know what you would do if Gamzee was your son. You already read about other mutant hemotypes and your own emotional instability coupled with Vriska’s. What will happen to your child in the future? Would you turn your back on your children if they were as fucked up as Gamzee?

“I don’t know what doubts I could offer you about that night.” you whisper, “I can’t remember everything about the attack. I just see that awful mask coming closer to me…looking at me with its empty sockets…”

“At eye level?” Meenah asks.  

You look at her. “Yeah, the Minotaur was looking directly at me. We were the same height.”

Meenah shakes her head. “That’s not possible. Even when he was little, Gamzee was _way_ taller than you. You only came up to his shoulders.”

You think back to the picture that started all of this—that repugnant mask towering over you—and realize that Gamzee did tower over you, but in your memory of the attack the Minotaur and you were the same height.

“What could have happened?” you ponder, “Could he have sunk in the mud? No, the mud was shallow, or I would’ve sunk too. But then what…?”

“It could be a mistake.” Meenah mutters, “Your memory from that time wouldn’t be reliable...”

You question how Gamzee remembers that night but you have to be careful asking that. You decide to open Meenah’s gift, which is full of weathered books in Old and Modern Alternian.

“They’re Dad’s books,” Meenah says, “I kept some of them after he died and I thought that maybe you’d want them. You can practice your Alternian on them. Most of them have annotations.”

“Thank you.” You say, smiling. “Do you think the car will be complete for April qualifier?”

Meenah’s eyes go wide but she grins. “Yeah! It should be ready by April.”

You leave the trailer and question if you should visit Sollux and thank him for the gift, since you didn’t get him anything. You had no idea what to get him since he has so much already: content quadrants, loving parents, and a cute kid. He’s probably cuddled up to Eridan and Feferi, watching Winter Holiday specials, and eating home cooked food.

You go back to SHEV (as they’re calling your trailer these days) and enter the living room. The futon is folded out and Dave is lying on it, typing on his laptop.

“You’ve been busy with your script.” you say, sitting on the futon and taking off your boots.

“I already finished it. Now I’m editing it.” Dave says, “Rearranging scenes, changing characters, and so on.”

“You gonna submit it for a scholarship?” You ask, tossing your boots away.

“No, because I’m not interested in college.” Dave grumbles, “Bro’s already nagging me about it. I don’t need _you_ doing the same.”

“Just asking, Strider. Untwist those ironic panties.” You lay down next to him on the futon. “What’s the script called?”

“Haven’t thought of a title yet.” Dave says, “Maybe _Kiss of the Damned_ or _Night Trap Party.”_

 _“_ Or _Dave Strider’s A Pretentious Prick Who Writes Schlock_?” you suggest.

“Or _Karkat Vantas’ Wide Ass is Taking Up Too Much Space on My Futon?_ ”

“Or _This Isn’t Even Dave’s Futon and My Ass is Not That Big, You Fuck._ ”

Dave puts the laptop aside and kisses you. “Or _Karkat Vantas’s Huge Knockers Now in Amazing 3D._ ”

“ _Dave Strider’s Cock Now With Amazing Shrinking Action Only 19.95, Folks._ ”

Dave kisses you roughly but you’re the one who pins him to the futon. It’s harder for him to get the best of youwhen you’re so much larger. He isn’t clamoring for you to get off of him though. His stiff cock pokes your thigh and you stroke the tip just to see the reaction. Dave shudders and his nails dig into the sheets.

“F- _fuck_.” Dave pants, “Karkat…Karkat, fuck me.”

At first you’re not sure if you heard that right. “What?”

Dave’s face is completely red. “I want you to fuck me.”

There’s no sarcasm in his words or on his face. You still can’t believe he’s asking. “Are you sure? Usually you’re sort of…”

“Yeah, well, things change.” Dave mutters, not making eye contact. “I just thought that maybe we could just…try it. There’s no harm in trying it once.”

You’re surprised he would be open to the idea at all since he seemed to balk at it before. Still, you don’t want to hurt him. “Do you want a safe word?”

Dave frowns. “I’m not going to back out.”

“It’s not about that. It’s if you’re uncomfortable or something hurts. It’s a lot easier for me to hurt _your_ tender parts.”

You negotiate a safe word that you’d both recognize ( _katana_ ) and then uncover Strider’s first time anal sex package which is stored under the futon in a crate. You have no idea when he bought it but you suspect it was about the same time that he bought Jade’s gift (which wasn’t unwrapped in front of everyone for the sake of maintaining Dave’s dignity).

You have to constantly check with Dave if this is okay because you’re still not sure. You’re still not sure even when your bulge is nestled inside him and he’s clinging to you, digging his nails into your skin and leaving red streaks.

It’s also the first time you’ve seen Dave completely lose his shit during sex. Dave is rarely vocal during sex. He bites down or moans but when he’s close to climax, but never gets completely undone like you do…at least not until now. Strider’s entire body is shaking, his face turns completely red, and he rakes his nails down your shoulders as he cums. Looking at his exhausted face, you know seeing Dave like this is far hotter than when you got to penetrate him. He collapses on the futon like his bones have melted with fingers twitching and eyelashes fluttering.

“How are you doing?” you ask, panting.

“Fu…holy sh…fucc…” Dave can’t even talk straight post-coitus.

You kiss him. “Once you go grey, you can’t turn away.”

Dave pulls himself long enough to (weakly) hit you in the shoulder. “Shut up, crab.”

“I should have recorded how loud you get for future study,” you tease, “Use your voice as measurement of my sexual prowess.”

“Oh my fucking god.” Dave grunts and pulls off of your bulge so he can move to the edge of the bed. You use the time to peel off the condom as carefully as possible. “No more sex for the next year.”

“There’s only six days left in the year.” you laugh.

“Exactly.” Dave answers. He stands but after two steps winces. You start laughing and he glares at you, walking to the bathroom and shutting the door.

Once the door’s shut, you continue laughing. Oh yes. You are definitely going to gloat about topping Strider. You don’t have to say anything. Just a small sly smile lets Dave know you take immense pride in getting all up in him before anyone else did. Dave must know because he can’t edit his script with you grinning at him, so he retreats to the bedroom. You don’t mind since you can spread out on the futon. You’re content to watch dated stop-animation Winter Holiday specials when your iHusk vibrates.

 

\--twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]!--

 

TA: merry wiinter holiiday, kk.

CG: MERRY WINTER HOLIDAY, BEEFUCKER.

TA: ii notiiced we were talkiing la2t niight and ii nodded off. 2orry.

CG: NOT A BIG DEAL. I ALWAYS HAVE FUN TALKING TO YOU EVEN IF YOU’RE AN IMMATURE PRICK. ALSO, THANKS FOR THE GIFT. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE GETTING ME SOMETHING. I WOULD’VE GOTTEN YOU SOMETHING.

TA: oh plea2e, kk. ii don’t need anythiing from you.

CG: ANYWAYS, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

TA: not much. ju2t gamiing wiith miit.

CG: YOU’RE NOT HANGING WITH YOUR FISHES?

TA: nah. fef diid her church thiing thii2 morniing and now 2he'2 at the battered troll 2helter helpiing out. eriidan ii2 readiing hii2 new book of 2pell2 and watchiing 2uxxor.

CG: DO YOU…WANT SOME COMPANY?

TA: oh my god, kk. could you have made that 2ound anymore *weird*?

CG: I WAS JUST ASKING IF YOU WANTED SOMEONE ELSE TO HANG WITH FOR THE NIGHT, ASSHOLE. I SHOULD GO OVER THERE JUST TO PUNCH YOU IN THE NOSE.

TA: don’t be a crab. you can come over iif you want bad chiine2e food and 2oda 2iince no one wanted two cook.

CG: YOU HAD ME AT CHINESE FOOD, 2XDICKHEAD.

TA: 2ee you.

 

\--carcinoGeneticist[CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons[TA]!--

 

You leave a note for Dave that you’re heading to Sollux’s and walk down the road. Sollux and Mituna are in the middle of a COD marathon and you join in for a few rounds before you all get bored and watch _Trollzformers 3: Dark of the Moons_. After the sun sets, the temperature in the trailer dips so you bundle up in a blanket with Sollux. Mituna crashes after overdosing on Doritos and goes into the bedroom. He’s been quiet all evening and you think it has something to do with Latula being in the hospital.

“Sollux, why in the hell is it so cold in your trailer?” you grumble.

 

 

“Not our fault. Heat’s on the fritz again and no one’s sending out a repairman until _Monday_ because of the holiday.” Sollux mutters, “I can’t believe how cold it gets in fucking New Jack City. This is the _East_ for Jegussake.”

“Is that why you have your gross talons on me?” You say, tugging Sollux’s toe as his right leg is stretched across your lap. “Seriously, dude. Go see a fucking manicurist and like pay them a grand to handle these monstrosities attached to your ankles.”

“Ugh, don’t _do_ that!” Sollux huffs, squirming.

“What? Is wittle Sollux’s clawed untrimmed callused dinosaur feet _sensitive_?” you snicker.

“No, because fuck you.” Sollux grumbles.

“Just move your stupid dinosaur leg.”

“I’m not moving my leg. It’s freezing in here, you’re warm, _and_ it’s my trailer, so I can do as I want.” Sollux looks at the TV, “Gods, this movie is shitty. I can’t believe they made four more of these.”

“I didn’t even know the seventh one existed.” You say, “I also didn’t think there was a movie franchise that even Michael Bay Jr. would turn from.”

“It’s _amazing_ to behold. I think it’s coming on later.” Sollux says. You lean against the yellowblood and he whines, “KK, you can’t _lean_ on me. You’re _huge_ now.”

“Oh please. This must be paradise for your size kink, Sol.” You snort. You get a whiff of Sollux and grin, “Are you…wearing _cologne_?”

“No!” Sollux hisses but his cheeks turn dark yellow.

“You _are_!” you laugh, “Were you expecting a ‘special’ Winter Holiday gift tonight?”

Sollux folds his arms, glowering at you. “I just thought I’d be spending the evening with Fef but she’s busy”–he sighs--“ _again_. Before she got sick, she was always busy doing social stuff whether it was at church or school. I didn’t mind ‘cause I was busy too but…” He trails off with a sigh.

“Sollux, if you _miss_ her why don’t you _tell_ her? Or _go_ to her?” That’s Relationships 101 in your book.

Sollux shakes his head. “Fef’s been sick for so long that she deserves to do something she enjoys. I want her to be happy.”

“But you miss her.”

The psionic looks away; not denying it but not wanting to talk about it. You pull him into an appreciative arm lock. “Don’t be a gloomy bee. I bet she’ll surprise you!”

“Fuck! Let go!” Sollux hisses. You laugh and don’t release him until he starts shocking you with his psionics. He’s smaller but his psionics still hurt. Sollux sits up, glaring at you. “Wait until my adult molt. I’ll be a foot taller than you.”

“You’ll grow an _inch_ at best, Captor.” You snicker.

The bedroom door opens and Eridan exits, carrying a fussy Suxxor. The grub is wrapped in a blanket and loudly squeaking. 

“Sol, Suxxor woke up and he’s fussing and I can’t--” Eridan looks at Sollux and you and frowns. “What’s…going on here?”

Sollux finally moves his leg off of you and sits up. “KK came over.” He holds out his hands. “Give him here.”

Eridan hands over the yellow grub and Sollux looks down at Suxxor, patting him on the head. “What’s wrong, huh? Are you sick? Did you eat too much of your mother’s awful cooking? Are you refusing to go to bed again because you’re a pain?”

Suxxor scowls and turns his head. The grub shudders and finally pukes a brown and green fluid onto Sollux’s shirt. Sollux stands groaning. “Shit! Okay, you’re _definitely_ sick.”

“Should we take him to the hospital?” Eridan asks.

“No, I think it was just a bad idea to let him try fruit cake.” Sollux says, still holding Suxxor. Suxxor is crying and clinging to his father.  

“Sol, I can take him while you get a new shirt.” you say.

“It’s fine. Not the first time he puked on me.” Sollux sighs, patting Suxxor on the head.

What is supposed to be a relaxing evening turns into several hours of trying to calm down Suxxor. You locate a clean shirt for Sollux while Eridan and him attempt to soothe Suxxor with a bath. When that fails, Eridan puts Suxxor in a rocking crib in his bedroom. Suxxor and Dmitry’s bedroom is rather bare but you expect there’ll be more decoration once the grubs pupate. While Sollux changes in his bedroom, Eridan sits next to the crib and looks at his son. Suxxor is still glowering but he’s gone quiet.

“I panic every time something goes wrong with him.” Eridan sighs.

You’re not paying attention to Eridan because you noticed the book on the bed. Its yellowing pages are open to a floral ink wash illustration with flecks of fuchsia. “What’s that?”

“Hm?” Eridan looks at the mattress and inhales. His gills flare out and flex and he looks like a kit with his hands caught in the cookie jar. He walks over and picks up the book, holding it so you can’t see. “It’s nothing.”

“Bullshit. What are you hiding?” You snicker, “Don’t tell me you’re getting into plants like your matesprit.”

Eridan pauses and then glares at you. “Alright, you caught me. I didn’t get Kan a good gift for Winter Holiday so I’m gonna make it up on Red Day. I might have to go to Aguinaldo though…”

“Aguinaldo?” The name sounds familiar but you don’t know about the place.

“It’s in South New Jack. They have the latest farmer’s market in the city there so odds are that they may have it.” Eridan quickly puts the book in the dresser and leans against it, sighing. “It’s illegal to grow in the UTC because of some weird trade agreement but I think Kan would want it. It’s rare and beautiful, just like she is.” His shoulders sag. “I want her to know how much I care.”

You’re surprised Eridan would think of something so sweet and sentimental. You really _are_ brothers. “That’s adorable, but there’s no way you’re doing that alone.”

Eridan’s eyes widen. “What?”

“C’mon. I’m your brother. You think I’m going to let you wander around in Hicksville by yourself? I think the Underdraft would have what you’re looking for and it’s relatively closer.”

“There’s a place in New Jack called ‘the Underdraft’?”

“Well, not officially, but it exists. It’s a place where you can get illegal stuff. I’m sure they have that plant. It’s a sketchy place though…” You try to think of who would be willing to go into a sketchy area but only one person comes to mind. “Okay, now you’re going to think I’m nuts but I think we should bring Gamzee.”

Eridan’s jaw slackens. “ _Gamzee_?”

“Hear me out.” you say, “Gamzee’s an ex-con. He would know trouble before it even starts and we haven’t had a problem with him since summer. As long as we bring Tavros with us, we’ll be fine.”

Eridan shakes his head. “No way…there’s _no way_ that would work out.”

“There’s no way we should go looking for an illegal plant without backup. Yeah, Gamzee’s an asshole but he’s not going to pull anything with Tavros there and he hasn’t said or done anything to us for months. I figure that maybe we bury the hatchet and just try inviting him somewhere, plus he could help.”

Eridan nervously wrings his hand. “Tav’s pregnant though. Gamzee’s not going to let him go anywhere.”

“Obviously you don’t know Tavros very well. He’s been walking around just fine without an issue. He’s _fortified_ from that time with Hanael, I think. He’s trying to be more active since he plans to do some heavy lifting for work. C’mon. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Eridan frowns. “I don’t know…I’d like to do this as soon as possible and the year’s almost over.”

“So, you’d rather rush out to fucking Aguinaldo by yourself or wait a few weeks to go out to Underdraft in safety?”

Eridan weighs his options but relents. “Alright, but only if Tavros comes.”

Tavros should be having his egg before the month ends, so sometime in January is the best option. Red Day isn’t until February so you have plenty of time to plan ahead.

Suxxor finally falls asleep and Eridan stays with him. You go back to the couch with Sollux and watch _Trollzformers 6: Reign of the Antibots_ but fall asleep at the beginning of _Trollzformers 7: The Evil Within._ You wake up at five with Sollux’s arms around you and no desire to push away his warmth. You nuzzle his face before gently lulling back to sleep.


	3. epilogue: the last gift of the season

**== >Karkat: Be the non-Captor yellowblood **

Sergei and Meliak are gone and although they disappeared quietly, the effects are being felt all over. Trussians don’t bother coming by, whether it’s for food or business. At first you were miserable and unsure about what the future held; if the bank would force you out or the new Trussian gangsters I town would burn the place down for the insurance money. A search of Sergei’s office doesn’t turn up anything so blondie must have taken the papers. Not like you give a shit.

Your name is Dom and you don’t know what you’ll do next.

You’re in Sergei’s small apartment which you’ve been squatting in since his disappearance. It’s cramped, ugly, has no personal affectations, or warmth but it’s the last place you spent with Sergei. You’ve just polished off the last of Sergei’s bootleg vodka and sobering up with the remaining orange juice.

There’s a knock at the door and you open it. From the scent it’s Laclan. “What is it?”  

“There’s a carapace at our backdoor.” Laclan says.

A carapace? There’s no carapace in the neighborhood. “I’m sure its nothing. Probably a bum.”

“They’re not leaving…”

You sigh and go downstairs with Laclan following. You go all the way downstairs and open the backdoor, but nothing is out there but rats and lusii. You smell something unusual on the doorstep: plastic and papery. It stands out against the cold dampness of the alleyway. You pick up a flat package covered in wrapping paper. You feel a label and have to hold it an inch from your eye so you can make out the letters: _For Dom_.

You bring the package inside and sit at a table with Laclan.

“I don’t trust it.” Laclan says, “Who would leave a gift for you?”

“If someone wanted me dead, I already would be.” you say, “It’s not like it would be hard.”

You open the package without further debate. The papers inside smell strongly of Sergei but the text is blurred so you let Laclan read. One letter is from Sergei, which is direct but emotional. It’s what you expect from a goodbye letter.

Laclan finishes the letter with: “Do you want to pause? Or a moment alone?”

“No,” you say, curtly, “it’s not the first time I got a letter like that. Read the other one.”

Laclan shuffles the papers, looking through them. “This is the property deed.”

You frown, leaning back in the chair. “What?”

Laclan looks over the paper in question. “Whether it’s legitimate or a very convincing forgery, Sergei left you the Railway.”

“That’s ridiculous.” You grumble, “How am I supposed to be in charge of the Railway? I can’t even see my hand in front of my face.”

“You’re not _that_ blind.” Laclan says, “You could see the package lettering, and the others respect you.”

You growl. You don’t want the responsibility of the others on your shoulders…but what would happen to them otherwise? A lot of them are idiots who don’t know the first thing about food preparation but without the bar, they’d be back with their addictions and abusive relationships.

“There’s money at least.” Laclan adds, “Maybe enough to buy more supplies. Maybe we could hire Karkat back? The others miss him...”

You shake your head. “Not a good idea.”

You know Sergei didn’t live a lawful life. Everyone figures it out sooner or later. You don’t know if Karkat was a part of the murders but you’re suspicious given how many late nights he spent with Sergei. He was an anomaly here; a troll who had loving family and roots elsewhere. Eventually, he was going to leave. The Railway is a place of transition; not permanence.

“What about you?” you ask.

The dark blob that is Laclan tilts its head. “What about me?”

“You’re intelligent, Laclan,” you say, “You know a lot about the city and politics. You must have other options. Why would you stay here?”

Laclan stands. “This is my home now. You should know better than anything else that the past has nothing for either of us.”

He leaves the room, as he always does when it comes to his past. You can’t complain since you do the same. The only person you shared pieces of your past with was Sergei and now there’s no one; just one more person to visit at the cemetery. You gather the documents and return to Sergei’s— _your_ —apartment. You need to tally all the items to reorder for the Railway’s coming year.


End file.
